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Ever Onward Podcast
The Ever Onward Podcast is your go-to business podcast, offering engaging discussions and diverse guests covering everything from business strategies to community issues. Join us at the executive table as we bring together industry leaders, experts, and visionaries for insightful conversations that go beyond the boardroom. Whether you're an entrepreneur or simply curious about business, our podcast provides a well-rounded experience, exploring a variety of topics that shape the business landscape and impact communities. Brought to you by Ahlquist.
Ever Onward Podcast
Building Forward: Cortney Liddiard’s Next Chapter with Kerosene Capital | Ever Onward - Ep. 71
How do you honor everything you’ve built - and still have the courage to create something new?
In this deeply personal conversation, Cortney Liddiard shares the story behind the creation of his newest venture, Kerosene Capital — a company built on decades of leadership, hard-won wisdom, and a renewed passion for business and life.
Built on decades of leadership at Ball Ventures, Cortney’s next chapter represents the natural evolution of his journey — shaped by a deep commitment to meaningful relationships, a renewed focus on balance, and the drive to build something truly personal and enduring.
With characteristic energy and humor, Cortney recounts adventures traveling with his wife Jenny (who famously enforced a “10-day rule”), testing their resilience and deepening their partnership along the way. From digging a truck out of a North Dakota snowbank with dog bowls to quiet mornings running his hunting dog through Idaho fields, Cortney’s reflections reveal the clarity that comes from real-world experience — and a willingness to embrace both hard work and stillness.
Facing the milestone of turning 58, with memories of his father’s early passing at 59 fresh in his mind, Cortney speaks candidly about making this “last swing” count. Kerosene Capital is more than a new company — it’s a return to passion, purpose, and personal alignment: doing what you love, with people you love, for the right reasons.
For anyone thinking about their next chapter — whether you’re an entrepreneur, a leader, or someone seeking deeper meaning in your work — Cortney’s journey offers a powerful reminder: The best is still ahead when you build from the heart.
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Today on the Ever Onward podcast, we have Courtney Ledeard, former CEO of Ball Ventures, a longtime friend, and introducing his new company, kerosene Capital. He'll be the owner and CEO of Kerosene Capital. It's going to be great to get caught up with Courtney and talk about what he's been up to in the future, buddy oh, buddy this is great. Hey, we've been talking about doing this for years years way years and you're good at it.
Speaker 2:I'm not great at it.
Speaker 1:No, this is great, this is uh, this is awesome. Um, you're over in town because last'm not great at it. No, this is great, this is awesome. You're over in town because last night we had our first kerosene chat.
Speaker 2:Yes, that was amazing. It was so fun to have everybody here. Everybody's probably sick of me. I haven't seen anybody for a year, I know and I'm hugging everybody and they're like hey, they're like what's wrong with you, dude? This guy's so full of love. They're like what's wrong with?
Speaker 1:you. You guys are so full of love, Right? Well, so a little bit of backstory. So a couple of years ago we decided, after COVID, well, we did the conference in Sun Valley. It was kind of a thank you to our business partners and it was a great event. And then we rebranded it, which was really fun it's Kerosene two years ago ago and had a great, great event.
Speaker 2:I mean that thing was awesome, that was a lot of fun had it down on the Lively Then remember the rainstorm.
Speaker 1:Had Vincent Neil Emerson come play Pitcher underneath under everybody outside trying to protect themselves.
Speaker 1:But they wanted to talk, so much At the perfect time that rainstorm hit. But then obviously last year we took that year off. A lot of change, a lot of change. And then this year we're going to have kerosene again this fall, which is a two-day kind of leadership kind of conference here in Boise. But we thought why not do these periodic times kerosene chats we're calling them where we can bring someone in and have them. Well, we do so much business and we go so hard. All the time it's just crank, crank, crank, crank, crank. It is so nice to take a minute and invite those people in that are so important to our business. I know relationships. I mean one thing I've learned from you relationship, relationship, relationship, right. And so last night we had our first one. So we had Scott Gatzmeier from Micron. I thought he did a phenomenal job.
Speaker 2:You know, just hearing him talk about the process and dealing with whether it's the internal workings, where are they going to place it, what's the strategic advantage of the locations? And, of course, here in Idaho, you know there's a little bit of good, a little bit of bad. We're the perfect place but, on the other hand, the thing that makes the state great is we're still small, yeah, but perfect location. Hearing about the process that they went through, you know, coordinating with the governor, the governor's office, about, okay, how are we going to do this? Because they said something, you know, last night, talking about the construction jobs and 1500 and 1500. And when Scott said, well, it's just getting ready for the 15,000 people, and that's impressive. And to think I didn't realize that the whole campus was what? 800 acres, 800 acres. And I'm from Eastern Idaho.
Speaker 1:So I know what 800 acres, 800 acres and I'm from eastern Idaho so I know what 800 acres is. What was interesting is he like at the top of his head last night. Most of the things he was saying I had never heard before. Right, About the process, about the statistics, about the competition with the speed to market because they're up against other countries it was really cool, he did a great. Other countries it was really cool, he did a great job and holt hagan did a great job.
Speaker 2:He's. He's such a good guy, so personable and great. You know really getting some of those comments out, making people feel comfortable, and I think the word chat really what? Yeah is what it was.
Speaker 1:It was great I mean just anyway. So you're over here for that. And then I thought you know it's time, yeah, it's time, you're uh. So, uh, um little bit of an intro. Yeah, right, 22 years ceo of ball ventures um 22 years long time and accomplished unbelievable things. Um, well, had a big change, big, had a big change and kind of a year of kind of reset, and I want you to get into that. And now that ended earlier this month and I thought it was great last night because we haven't been able to talk or do much, but you've been in your mind planning what was next for you, right, and last night it was really fun to have you here and be able to talk about your new company and I thought, hey, this will be fun to be able to talk about that. Yeah, it's been a while. So, anyway, thanks for coming on, thanks for having me Thanks for being here last night.
Speaker 1:It was great. It was really fun to have the governor here.
Speaker 2:Anyway, it's going to be great to talk today.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, I guess first of all, you know, big, big shout out to BV, all the employees, and I'll say a couple of things a little later, that kind of point to that. But you know it was a great run. Frankly, I learned so much. Learned so much from the people, learned so much from alan. You know he was a big influence in my life and as that thing matures you, you know what was uh me and uh a I used I need to not use the words I normally use, but half-assed bookkeeper and the secretary who thought she had my job because she got Alan's coffee.
Speaker 1:Just a bean counter for Tooele Utah.
Speaker 2:Just a bean counter, just a bean counter. But really to see that go from a gravel pit to what it's become, and I think that the older you get, the more you reflect and and really, at the end of the day it's was on the backs of those employees. They did it all and you know that's just a big shout out. They just have a phenomenal, phenomenal staff and have done some phenomenal things and we've done some phenomenal things. But you know the people, the people really, that that's a lifeblood and a core. The people really matter. But you know, kind of Well, can I?
Speaker 1:Anytime there's big changes, it's big changes, right. I mean it's, it's a big change, it's a big change right, 100 to 0. But I think I want to just piggyback on what you said. It's just immense gratitude, right, totally, and I think that's been the interesting thing is just gratitude, for I mean just years of really great stuff and with BVA, right.
Speaker 2:Oh, we really hit the gas.
Speaker 1:BVA was so I mean like probably as a time of my life, just one of the most energetic mission-driven. And I want to hit what you just said because, because I think of, like Tari Malafua I'm going to get a little emotional man I mean I think about that guy and what we did together and the teamwork that we felt, and just I'm so grateful for that experience we had and it was wonderful, Just wonderful. Right, A lot of synergy and still a relationship there. I mean we still have a lot of assets together and great people. Anyway, a lot of gratitude for a lot of folks that made a difference in my life. Right, and I know for you, you bet.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe getting kind of back to that year, I get asked all the time well geez, what's it like? Or what was it like?
Speaker 1:Well it, is interesting because I'm like I've said this like you have a lot of qualities. I'm gonna so, um, before you get into this, why? Why it was so interesting is I've never known anyone with as much capacity as you ever, and I've known a lot of people in my life. I'm a good salesman nah, you're more like it's just capacity. I mean, you would like I had met my match when we started doing business together, cause I'm like this guy never stops and he's he's. So you are an accountant, that's your, your be, a be a good or bad encounter, and mostly bad for me, right. Cause you're all and you're, you're a, you're an analytical guy, you're a numbers guy, you're a numbers guy, you're a don't believe the emotion, believe the numbers guy, right? So I was always impressed with so many things going on that when you interacted with our business line, I needed to know my stuff, because I knew when I sat down with you, it was like, hey, within about five minutes I'm going to get the key questions and if I don't know everything, I'm going to look bad, right. And then I'd watch you do that with car dealerships. I'd watch you with a hotel. It was like, oh, and I'm like this guy's got more capacity than anyone and you never stopped. So I think, well, yeah, I'm going to tell a story to kind of demonstrate that capacity. You also are like that in every asset of your life, whether it's riding bikes or going hunting.
Speaker 1:So the very first time we go hunting in North Dakota together, I'm going to tell the story. I've got a story or two to tell there too. I begged you for years to go first of all, and you would never take me and I felt bad about it. So finally I get the invite and now I realize why this is a very special thing for you and your brother. You have all these little secret places there. Not just anyone can go, because once you go to the secret place, everyone knows the secret. Now you know the seat. Now it's not a secret, right, right, right.
Speaker 1:So we get there and I'm excited, but I don't know what to expect. So I get there and I'm thinking we're gonna, we're gonna get there in north dakota and we're gonna be able to, like, go to the maverick, right, and I'm gonna get like some sodas and some water, maybe, some beef jerky, maybe, maybe, and I think we're gonna have this fun time that day and we get there. And you know, we have this rental truck and we throw our gear in, throw our guns in, and boom, our guns in, and boom, we're off right. And it's a two-wheel drive white truck and I'm like we could go. And after like an hour of you just locked in I mean, you were locked in we're like go, we got to hurry, it's time to go, I know. I'm like, hey, I haven't seen a car or a person for like an hour or two and I'm like are we going to stop by like a gas station or something? No, no, no. And you go in the winter, right.
Speaker 1:So there's very short days, first of all, in your defense, you only have like a very short window of time. And so no water, no food, no, anything. Right, we had snow, we can boil it. No, it gets there. I'm going to get there. So we're getting about noon now hunting, and we Like we're getting about noon now hunting and we're having a good time, but I don't have a drop of water, I don't have anything.
Speaker 1:And there's this point at which you're like hey, we got to get rid of that field over there. I'm like well, how are you going to get there in this truck. You're like, oh, we'll make it if we go fast enough. If we go fast enough, we can get through that snow drift right. So you hit it and I'm like we're not getting through that snow drift and remember we high center on the snow, and you're like we're going to have to dig out. Daylight's wasted, let's get out. I'm like, well, do you have a shovel? And we used your two dog bowls, remember. So all we had was dog bowls.
Speaker 1:And we're underneath the truck digging and I'm thirsty. And I'm literally. I like looking up at that perfect blue North Dakota sky, laying on my back in the snow, thinking I might die. I'm breathing heavy, I'm eating snow because I'm so thirsty. Anyway, we got it. It took us a couple hours to get in stock. We've hunted all day. It was magnificent, by the way, and we don't eat until 5 30 that night. But anyway, I tell that story because this is the courtney lydier pace. It's like relentless. It is like relentless, the most relentless thing you've ever experienced in your life. So I think, for all of us, knowing you're going to take a year off, we're like, uh, how's this thing gonna work? And knowing that jenny had to put up with you every day, I'm like okay, all right, this thing's not work. And knowing that Jenny had to put up with you every day, I'm like okay, this thing's not going to work. I think there was genuine concern for anyone that knew you.
Speaker 2:And you know, in all fairness, you might not be the first person who brought that up, but you know that time when we were in North Dakota. I look back and that's, you know. I would say, when you have, like you said, when you go from 100 to zero, yeah, literally, you have time to really think about things and what matters most and what in your life, what do you treasure most. And, thank goodness, it's not like being up in heaven looking down, right, but it gives you a chance to say, okay, well, what, what? Maybe? Now are some of the regrets I have.
Speaker 2:And you know, I don't know, honestly, if I change a lot, because I do have that energy. And I look at that time I was so excited, like man, all right, you're in the circle, we're gonna go. And this is so special to me, I am, we have just, we're gonna do it all, we're gonna do it all in two days and there's thousands of acres and we're going to do every square inch. And you know, I, I, there's so many things in that trip that I look back at like, like the snow drift.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and I think this is, you know, if you're a doer, I think it's in all of us. I know it's in you, because I've had this feeling like what in the hell are you thinking? And just like the snow drift, like, oh, we can make it, let's go, yeah, and let's just push right through it. And I think that's something that's core of my personality is yeah, I may not make it the first time, I may have to dig out with the dog bowl, but by dang, I'm going to make it through that drift, because I got Tom's, got to have a good time, we were going to go. So, and you know the other thing, I've got a picture. And when we were there the second time, yeah, we're in South Dakota, my favorite place, yeah, you know we'd had such.
Speaker 1:We're not going to tell that story today.
Speaker 2:No, it may have invited. No, it may have involved a little yes.
Speaker 1:Just tell it.
Speaker 2:No, no, no.
Speaker 1:Well, it was a totally innocent mistake, just so people don't think there was Right. Like we're in North Dakota, you're like, let's go to South Dakota, it's right across the border. Like, okay, you're like, well, you got to get online and get your licenses, so you buy your license on your iPhone while you're going across the border Very quickly and you may have put the date in by one day. Wrong, I did.
Speaker 2:By one day Right, one day wrong. And you know, I mean I grew up hunting and when that nice officer comes in the field, he was in it to win it, man. He was in it to win it, man, he was in it to win it. And you know he starts telling me about you're hunting after. You know, you're hunting after hours. And I'm looking at him like what are you thinking? I can see, I mean, I've hunted my entire life and this, you know, after sunset thing. I remember telling him well, what am I supposed to do? Be pulling out my phone watching the weather channel? I mean, it was 15 minutes after, something like that.
Speaker 1:it's like I didn't know that this was like this, but the good news it all ended all right.
Speaker 2:Yeah it ended up great, a lot of lessons learned, and you know honestly. So back to that day, okay, so the two things. So one is again, I want to make sure you have a good time. And I'm down off in this little draw and I hear this shooting, boom, boom, and I'm like, oh, it's getting into, it's gonna be great, this is gonna be great. Boom, and I remember like, okay, there's no more shooting. I come back and I look over and you're going back to the truck.
Speaker 1:Oh, this was so funny well, hey, hey, in my defense, you hunt so hard and the first four or five fills and you're going. I'm just trying to catch up and I'm literally thinking to myself I don't think I can do this all day. I'm going. We got our dogs right, we're having a great time, but it's beautiful. So every once in a while I just sit down and go. I'm tired, right, but I didn't see any pheasants. So then we go into this field and I've got a box of shells, a box.
Speaker 1:I know it's a monster and you're like, just wait, when we get into them, it's going to be incredible. Well, I run out of shells and there are birds everywhere and I'm just like you're walking the limit limit.
Speaker 2:He's like, well, I got one, A box of shells, and you got one hey.
Speaker 1:Oh man, it's a different story today. You've been practicing, no, but it was embarrassing because they're hard. Yeah, you're chasing across by the time they get up, oh yeah, yeah. The other thing I remember about that trip is that was your dog's last trip. It's a cool story. Yeah, I got a picture of you with a frame, trigger, trigger, and you had that dog forever and you're like I got to take him. I think this is going to be it. It's his last big hunt and you know what he got to hunt with my new dog?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then he made it home. Made it home a few months later, you know, on to bigger and better. That's one of the things I'll always remember. Yeah, you know, I got a picture of him and it's kind of not to wax, you know, too emotional. But if I think about how I want to go out, I want to be Trigger.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because there's a picture of him. He had just gone. And, if you remember, I brought my new dog. Yeah, because there's a picture of him, he had just gone. And, if you remember, I brought my new dog. Yeah, spot, yep, spot. And you know, trigger's got all this experience and Spot's just hey, where am I going to?
Speaker 2:go. What am I going to do? And Trigger's just okay, let the young guy Okay. And he brings his bird back and I've got a picture of him laying on the ground because he's tired and he's kind of looking at me like hey, bud, this is it. This is my last one. I'm not getting any more of these for you. And it was. You know, I think everything in life, you know whether it's the death of a dog, change. You know there's good and bad and you have that flood of memories and appreciation and that's just. You know. That's just. You know. That's just another moment that I think kind of is germane to to where I'm, you know, the last year, frankly. So yeah, so go to this, yeah, so just a picture.
Speaker 2:I've got a picture of you against my jeep, not the muddy picture, but the good picture like it was staged almost, and you know it's just. When I look at that it's like peace, accomplishment, friendship. It's everything that was important. At that. It's like peace, accomplishment, friendship. It's everything that was important to me. And over the last year I'd stare at that picture and you know my brother, and when you have a year to think, you start thinking about what's important. And so if you were to people ask me well, what was it like? What was it like? And you know I just tell them, hey, what, what was it like? What was it like? And you know I just tell them, hey, this is the worst, best experience of my life because you know, was it easy? No, you go and you say, well, what am I going to do today? I gotta go. I, you know I got up at five, 30 and I remember my wife going. You don't have to get up at five, 30.
Speaker 2:Like keep going. She goes. Hey, bud. Like bud, you don't have to get up at 530. Keep going. No, she goes. Hey, bud, like what do you have to like? What's it? 545? I'm like, ah, you got to get up. Well, what exactly do you have to do?
Speaker 2:And so you know, luckily, at that period of time you know I live in Rexburg, I live up well, used to live up so I did a lot of things you're not supposed to do in a year, like leave a job, sell your house. Thank goodness Jenny didn't divorce me but I started taking my dog. My brother would always go with his dog, not on hunting season, but you know, running it, keeping it in shape and outside. Not on hunting season, but you know, running it, keeping in shape and outside. And you know what I was always jealous of, that right Way jealous, and being able to go do that now is something I do to this day, like like you know, if you said, well, how come you got to get back?
Speaker 2:Well, I got to go run my dog tomorrow. You know it's like this special time, but that really gave me a lot of time to kind of reflect and you know, run my dog and up in the fields and see things I've never seen. I had no idea we had that many elk within it's about three miles of my house. I've seen herds of 50 elk.
Speaker 1:I'm just sitting here while you're talking. Isn't that like the most peaceful thing ever? Yeah, like being in a field with your dogs. Yeah, I mean it's simple, but I think the clarity in nature, there's some special bond with the dog. I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 2:It's just awesome, isn't it? And, unlike some places, I've hunted and thought that trespassing was just a guideline, I actually asked for permission, and so you know it was great. And you know, the other thing that I wanted to make sure that I that I got out there today is, you know, my dad was a huge influence on my, on my life, and so was my mother. I mean, they had such my mother's still alive, by the way, she's the toughest person you'll ever meet but my dad, you know I would have a big decision or, most of the time, screw up, and he'd say listen, you know, bud, you can't change the past. You live in the present. All you can do is affect the future.
Speaker 2:So what you do next matters most, and that is something that rang through my head and rang, you know a lot, just because you know when you're going 100 miles, and you know this, you're going 100 miles an hour. You have these things that you want to accomplish and, uh, I can't tell you how many times you know whether telling jenny, yeah, well, I'll get that tomorrow. Well, I get that tomorrow. Well, tomorrow never comes, yeah, and so being able to look at what you want to do and go forward. Really. That saying I probably especially the first few months, it just was in the back of my head all the time and I got so much to talk about. How much time do we have left? We have plenty.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:All right. So you know, as I try to take that, figure out what I want to do, one of the goals and something that Jenny talked about was I'm going to do something. I'm going somewhere every month Like I'm going to go, and, as you know and a lot of others know, I've got this motorhome and I come from a family of truckers. My wife's family is her father built a large trucking enterprise and so they all know how to drive and so I'm in this, you know, 45 foot motorhome and pulling a trailer, a flat deck trailer, with my Jeep on it. Yeah, it's probably not something I've done all the time and so you would think I would ask for advice. So I do crickets, except for my brother-in-law, beeper. He's like oh, yeah, yeah, you've got to take 25 over here. By the way, I love the fact that your brother-in-law's nickname is Beeper. Oh, it's Beeper. Some people know him as Beeper, but it's Beeper and he's the only guy Like I would be okay, so the Okay.
Speaker 2:So the first trip we went from, you know, up in Rexburg, down through Moab, and Beper said no, you got to go. Have you ever been across any reservation? And I'm like no, you know, I've flown all over them and he's like, oh yeah, this is just you know, and he's telling me how to go by Shiprock and make sure when I get to Gallup, I take over on. You know what is that? 70? Anyways, what is that? 70? Anyways, take off, no, 40, something. You know this highway and and I think this next piece that I'm going to tell you is something that really really highlighted the last 12 months is I can do whatever I want, right, I could, and I'm a really pretty curious person. And so we go down to Gallup coming, we're going east, we go through Albuquerque to gallop coming, we're going east, we go through albuquerque and one of the very first uh, auto dealerships that we looked at buying with, with mario from teton toyota who mario is, is just an incredible, you know, he's an incredible individual, unbelievable was clovis, new mexico, and so I was bound and determined to tell him. I went to clovis again.
Speaker 2:So I'm driving over to Clovis, going along, and I see the sign Fort Sumner and the light goes off and I'm trying to stop Because you know you don't stop exactly quickly. It's not like hitting, it's not like, you know, in the little Volkswagen hitting the brakes and you stop. And so, you know, I finally get things stopped. She's like Fort Sumner. Why do we got to go to Fort Sondheim? I'm like that's where Billy the Kid is buried. He's everybody's hero. And so we get turned around and we go to the Billy the Kid Museum and, needless to say, you might guess we were the only ones there.
Speaker 2:But so that was our first trip and I got a really good friend down in Midland and you know, to be able to get up one day and say I don't want to stay to um, you know, down to san marcos, uh, texas, and we went a lot of places and I've been a lot of places for two hours and you know, I don't, you know people like, oh, they got. I remember going to san marcos the first time with a really good friend of mine, mike starcher. We were looking at a project. He's like, yeah, he's kept talking about this great barbecue. And we go, look at the project. We, you know, okay, great, I gotta go. And he's like, well, we gotta go to the barbecue. I'm like, what, we're not gonna stop, we gotta go. We got granola bars, let's go. And at least he had granola bars and water and water why was he?
Speaker 2:complaining, right, we didn't have water. And you know, he's like like, kind of to this day, when you talk to him, if he knows me, he's like, yeah, that's the dirty rotten, that wouldn't stop. But but so back to we went somewhere every month and you know whether it was down the coast of Oregon, which has its own set of funny stories, whether it's I mean all over and the thing that I worried. And so, jenny, you know, my best friend, partner in life the most patient, it's a partner in life the most patient. It's a good thing. She's opposite the most patient person. However, when it's, and she's like, yeah, that'd be so great, man, we can just go somewhere on just wherever you know like, and I'm like, hey, great, because I got a little hippie in me. People don't know that. You know I'm fine just going and exploring. I got a little hippie in me. People don't know that. You know I'm fine just going and exploring. And so I start.
Speaker 2:I think Turks and Caicos in May is what really highlights this, because I am bound and determined. I've never been there. You know he's got these beaches. I'm like I'm renting this Airbnb for a month, right, and I think she's excited. But sometimes I don't listen, well, and so I'm looking, and which one? For a month? And what's the amenities? And you know.
Speaker 2:So jenny has this thing. She's like I'm up really a month. I'm like, so I'm negotiating, hoping to get to two weeks, and then, but she's got this 10-day thing. If he's like, well, we're gonna go to hawaii for for three weeks, I don't know three, oh boy, and you know. So she has this 10-day limit. And I'm thinking, what do we like? Why, why do we? Well, we got you know, and geez, like, what do we have to do? We don't have to. And so I've learned about the 10-day rule and I'm still working on 15 days, but we're getting there. But people ask all the time, you know, with Jenny, like, oh wow, what are you guys going to do? That's going to be, you know, because, I mean, marriage is tough.
Speaker 1:Well, I think you're a lot. So I mean like let's like it's not surprising that everyone was worried about this, Right? So it's just like you're acting like everyone that knew you was like oh, it's going to be like she deserves a medal, right. So so like this was like a lot for one person.
Speaker 2:Well, and from the outside looking in, I I get it, you know, I understand, but what the and this is the other thing about this year has been, what are the blessings and the real? I was never nervous and, frankly, even if you were to ask Jenny in a private moment alone, never to be recorded, she would tell you the same thing. I mean, at work I was the boss and we worked together for very, you know, 17 years, 20 years, and you know, at work I was the boss and at home she's the boss and unfortunately, unfortunately, the last year she's been mostly the boss, but that was always our balance and frankly, you know, we could go for 10 days. A 10-day thing. I don't really get it's.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna tell you it's not me but well, she's like I think it is cool to watch, like she's awesome and she's your best friend. You bet she's your rock, she's everything to you and it's. It's a great example of what a marriage can be and should be and and uh, it's been, it's been cool, well, and that bond is unbelievable and only there's a stronger right and you know she's, she was always a rock the hey.
Speaker 2:Here's the schedule. This is what you've got to do, this is what we have to do, and it's no different than driving the motor home. We're figuring out where to go. There's this huge rainstorm I don't remember it was out in Oregon and it's coming down and she's over there navigating, like it was just what we do in life. You know, I'm driving like okay, thinking, and she's keeping me on course and where we got to go. And so you know, just like that moment that highlights our personalities, our marriage and how we interact, and we literally would go for a couple weeks and not really talk to anybody and I don't think very many people in life can say that about their best friend spouse. You know, it's just uh, it's just those little things that have come about the last 12 months that I realized, man, I am like the luckiest guy in the world.
Speaker 1:Isn't that like, uh, it's been. When you go through something, like looking at it with gratitude and what can I take from this, what can I learn? You just said how do I reflect, how do I look for the good? It's like that living arrows out thing, Like how do I not make this about me and how do I make it about what do I learn? And how do I make you know what's the future, what's was really? It's just really awesome.
Speaker 2:It, uh, it is. Reflection is very valuable because it gives you that second reset to say, okay, well, what was what did I like, what did I hate? Cause it gets confusing, you know this, you get so busy and focused and gives you time Like, what did I really enjoy? And you know, when I, when I get asked about well, geez, what was the last year really like? And I I'll respond and say, have you had any? Have you ever had anybody in your life close to you that's passed away? Because it's a lot like that.
Speaker 2:And I break it down into kind of four stages of, I think, what people go through, even when they have a loved one pass away. You know, the first part was sadness. I mean, I was, there's no doubt about it. I was sad and you say, well, what were you sad about? You know, the number one thing that I was really sad about is I had the pleasure of showing up with about 70 people that started out with those two that aren't there anymore. They weren't there long. And you know 70 people that I genuinely love and you know I would say maybe half of them loved me, but I love them and I love the employees, and you know, that was the hard part, because constantly I'd be walking around and wanting to call or you know, I used to walk around the office. I'd walk around the office, you know, two or three times a week and I'd go different routes so I could say hi to everybody and when I left, I we have glass like a lot of glass, and which we have a lot of glass because of you, like I'm not the creative guy, but I come over over here and I'm like man, that's pretty cool. We needed to do that. But I wrote them all a note because I wanted to remember, um, that I cared and you know it.
Speaker 2:Uh, so that first part, loss and loss of being able to, you know, interact with the partners. But and then there becomes a part of you that's angry and you know what? Are you angry? Well, I'm angry a little bit that I don't get to see him anymore, I don't get to interact with the partners anymore, and you know just um and not you know nothing. It's just a life of something evolving and you're kind of angry. We don't like to. You like to change, I don't like to change, none of us do right, and you're angry like I. I gotta change and and then I think that really puts you, you know, then this, the next, I think three months, I kind of put it into three months each and the next part is reflection. Yeah, you know, not quite peace yet. That comes next.
Speaker 2:Reflection, like okay, well, what really? You know, relationships, well, what really was? What are all the positives? What did you really learn? What can you take away from this? You know, frankly, and also you learn most when you do, when you make a mistake. So what were those mistakes?
Speaker 2:And then I would say the last part around Christmas was kind of okay, peace. Those people are still my friends. I still get to see them occasionally and you know they don't get texts from me anymore at two in the morning, but uh, you know, it's just kind of peace. Okay, now I know what I want to do going forward. Uh, I know I don't want to work excuse me, 70 hours a week, that that deals over. Uh, I promised my wife 20 to 30. And then I remind her that that's average. So some weeks might be 70, some weeks might be zero. But you know kind of defining that piece of being able to say, look, I can make my own world, I can do my own thing, and you know, uh, what am I going to prioritize? What am I going to let go of?
Speaker 1:Isn't it? I was just sitting here thinking about, in fact, I said this this week to somebody and then I realized life is long until it's not right. I mean, think about all the chances we have in this country and the opportunity we have to kind of reinvent ourself, to kind of learn, grow. Wisdom comes from bad experiences, bad experiences come from lack of wisdom, all these things, right, you kind of go, okay, but you can reinvent yourself so many times and kind of re-figure out okay, what can I take, what's the good that I can take, what are the lessons learned? And then blaze forward to the future, rekindle that fire in your belly and go again right, it's so cool that that's life here and we can do that and you can. You know, and I think early on, I think one of the things I said to you was like hey, you're, you're only in your fifties, man. I mean like you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:I remember like you're like but it's true, right, right. And then, but then the second part of it until it's not right until it's not. And so I was talking to one of my, I was talking to a really good friend this week who just lost his mother and um, and we were having this conversation is like it, it is long until it's not, and we do have limited time, we really do right. And I think, as you get reflective on life, and then you think about okay, there is only so much of this thing and I think guys like us probably take it for granted. A lot of people do take your health for granted.
Speaker 1:You take your time for granted, and it's in when you have big events that allow you to reset, you say, okay, I do have more time, I'm going to make a difference, I'm rekindling my fire, I'm thinking about who I want to. You know, have relationships with what is important to me, right, right, what is important, what is important to me, and I just love the fact that we can do that. That's one of the best experiences of this little thing we call life that you can reflect, grow, reinvent and move on. And I think that's this last phase for you that you're getting into. But before you went there I thought that is so cool. It's a great example of of, and you know. The other thing I'll say is like, as we go through things, bitterness, like you know what I mean. It's just it's not once that can get you know, you know out of the equation and you get back to gratitude and moving forward. It's pretty cool.
Speaker 2:Well, when you first brought up the the age thing, you know it my father a lot of people know my father died when I was younger. He died about age 59 and I'm rocking and rolling on age 58. So you know, I got that in the back of my mind and it's always been in my mind, but it's always tomorrow, that's a long way. Tomorrow, tomorrow, well, it's almost here. And so then you say, well, okay, what is that? What's that next thing and what does it really look like? Uh, because I, you know, I, I'm competitive, I'm, you know, there's a piece of my life professionally that I like to be engaged in. I mean, I think people don't, uh, really want to invite me to events because I'm, like you know, want to talk to everybody and see of my life professionally that I like to be engaged in. I mean, I think people don't really want to invite me to events because I'm, like you know, want to talk to everybody and see how everybody's doing and got a lot of energy.
Speaker 2:But I think of my dad and all the things he taught me in early age that he passed away.
Speaker 2:And you don't really think, like when I there's thinking and there's feeling, and then there's thinking, feeling yeah, and so when you're you're thinking about OK, then you feel like wonder what? I know what it felt like for me and I was early 30s. You know what did it feel like for him and I thought, well, this is my last swing, not only professionally, right, but also what if I died at 59? What does that mean? And that's helped me find a lot of balance. You know, focus as far as making it meaningful, and meaningful things and you know, in business do things that, uh, that are more focused and matter, and you know, limited and, but I'm excited. You know I've had a lot of, uh, a lot of time, like you said, to think and reflect, and you know I'm really, really excited about the future. And you sit there and I can't really, you know I wanted to call you and say, hey, this is what, and actually I was worried about offending you, right, because I see I didn't even think.
Speaker 1:So last night at the thing. So to be clear, like you like, you like, when is it was a year of like right?
Speaker 1:right, I no longer can call it was it was a year of kind of just pausing right, whatever you want to call it. And so when it ended like, and I and you know Shanna would ask me all the time she's like what's Courtney gonna do? I'm not sure. And she was like it's been funny because then I and she and I was excited because we kind of knew a year was coming up. Anyway, last night at the thing because your new company you named it Kerosene Capital, kerosene Capital, and you were worried that I would like, because you didn't talk about it and you called me a week ago.
Speaker 1:You're like here's what I'm doing. It was cool, it was so fun, and last night, watching you announce your new thing and saying, hey, here's what I'm going to do, here's the new name, the new logo is fantastic.
Speaker 2:So Kerosene Capital is your new company.
Speaker 1:Let's talk a little bit about well, first of all, before you do that, I do want to say something about you, courtney. Well, first of all, before you do that, I do want to say something about you, courtney. I've again known a lot of people and for me when someone says Courtney Lyddiard, it's capacity, that's number one, like never seen anyone ever with capacity. And then it's relationships, and a lot of people say that there's a lot of lip service around relationships. There are. I mean, you walk into any company and you look at their wall and their values and all that.
Speaker 1:But those values on a wall come from the founder or the leader's heart, right. If you can get what's in your heart and what motivates you genuinely, authentically as you, and you get them on the wall and you can have that become your culture, then it means something. But if it's just words on a wall, it doesn't mean anything. And you look at almost anyone's values they got relationships right. But with you it's real. It's not a word on a wall, it's not aspiration, it is how you live every freaking day of your life and it's been since the first time I met you. It's been forever.
Speaker 1:So my point is a long rambling statement here, to get to the point, but coming out of this, you have a lifetime of relationships that are deep and meaningful and they are one-on-one and they are people that trust and love you and know who you are, right. So, coming out of that, it's going to be part of your future, right, right, right, yeah, because it's the base. It's the foundation of who you are is capacity and relationships, right, right. So it's it's cool to watch this new reinvention of hey, here's the last swing at the plate, right, and what it's going to be for you. It's cool, I love it.
Speaker 2:Well, it is, it's exciting. And you know, relationships are everything and when you have that pause, you think constantly well, are they going to return my call or are they not? And I called a joint friend of ours that had retired. That was, you know, ran a very, very large organization. And I said well, you know how is this going to go, like you know. And he says well, he said you think everybody's your friend and I'm like that was the first moment. I'm like not, they're not my friends. I thought they were all my friends.
Speaker 2:And he said you know, like when you reach out to another leader at an organization or whatever, you know, somebody maybe that you don't go to barbecues with, but you think is your friend, he said you know, if you, out of those 10 people, he said two aren't going to call you back, I'm sorry, two aren't going to call you back and the next six they're going to call you back. It just that hour that you're used to, it might be a week and I'm like, oh, that's going to be tough, how's that going to work? And he goes, but there's two, there's two that will text you right back. And so, you know, the first time I sent a text to one of those.
Speaker 1:You're waiting to see if you were, at what percentage I did?
Speaker 2:I did, and I'm looking at my phone going I sent it Because you don't want, like, you want to know the answer, but know, you know, like, is anything going to respond? Or, and I'll tell you my experience, uh, and I'm not saying this in a boastful way, it's just to your point about relationships, I'd send a text and I would say, yes, I had the two, no doubt about it, but the other eight, they're still my friends, that's all, and they're still wanting to engage and interested. And I had, I wanted to. After you know when, after the 31st, when I thought I'm going to reconnect and of course you know you're not in real estate and not needing financing right and capital, and so I thought, well, I'll call this EVP of real estate for a large bank and see how that, you see, can I get an appointment? Well, even, that's every back, you know. And, boy, he texted right back and said, yeah, well, I don't know what you're going to do, I want to hear how you're doing and what's next. And you know how does next surge day? And I remember telling Jenny like, hey, he's one of the six, he's one of the six, awesome. And you know, because, like you said, relationships are everything. And maybe back to kerosene a little bit, that event I just really look at that event and that is highlights so many things.
Speaker 2:It highlights relationships, and not only with you know, bringing some of those people to little old Idaho, from you know Wisconsin, yeah, to little old Idaho, from you know Wisconsin, yeah, it really is the relationships between you and I, between the employees and cause you don't. One thing I've learned from you is, you know, definitely you've got the hey, what do you mean? They say we can't do it, we can do this. You know you've got that more than anybody I've ever met. And but really every between hey, well, what's this going to be like? And of course you're like it's going to be here and I'm thinking, well, we have to hear, maybe. And you know you, you pushed.
Speaker 2:And I look at the people that attended, I look at the people that spoke, the venue, all of it, and you know it was just phenomenal and a lot of energy. So many people came up and I, I and have a good speaker is one thing, because I've told people a lot when you attend. Oh, speakers were great. And in my mind I was thinking when do I get the heck out of here. But people were genuine and I thought about the energy coming out of that, from all aspects of business and friendship and just relationships that we're excited to attend, and I thought, man, I, you know, I really liked that name kerosene, and and.
Speaker 1:But you know, kerosene is something that you came up with Right and it it was, yeah, it's, it's funny because, uh, where where it's it's original thing is, it was in the ER, because in the ER you know tons of I mean like, like it's just hard. And so I would always say to my team cause I was talking about this the other day like when you're in the emergency room, I'm really glad that that's. And I always liked sports and played little college basketball and was always part of my life. But then when I went into medicine, I was attracted to emergency medicine because it's very team oriented.
Speaker 1:Like you, like you have someone come in off, you know, you go unload them from an ambulance and they're having a cardiac arrest. At the same time, you have someone in the lobby who walks in and passes out having a pulmonary embolism, and you are working a night shift. You've got you're, you're the doctor and I'll tell you, every other person, every single other person in that entire place has to be on the same page with you, or or or bad things happen, right. So so you're constantly trying to motivate people and I always prided myself and I still run into people. It makes me feel a little emotional because I saw someone a couple of weeks ago, but, like, I always prided myself in like the phlebotomist, the person that came to our blood, the x-ray technician who comes down to help you, the unit clerk that most doctors didn't know their names, right, that those people all mattered. So one of my sayings I always had was hey, in order to work these night shifts, you got to have kerosene in your veins.
Speaker 1:I always had was hey, in order to work these night shifts, you got to have kerosene in your veins. Because it was like you have to, right, it's that fire, because are you part of this team? So it's just always stuck with me kerosene in your veins, right, and what did that mean? It means are we together? Are we committed? Do we have a combined vision? We know where we're heading, do we have clarity on plan of what we're doing? And then do we work our tails off together, right, and it's just, it's kind of a great little phrase, but anyway, I'm I'm so happy that this, that that cause. I know you were worried.
Speaker 1:You're like hey are you okay with this? And I'm like am I okay? It's like this honor, right?
Speaker 2:So I think it ties back to our friendship too, yeah, and personality and you know personality and when I look at, so I looked up the definition is dumb, but I looked up the definition of carrot like what's in kerosene, what's? Because I've always thought like hot fire, yeah, yes, it burns right, yeah, it doesn't burn hot, it's not like you know. Uh, it's not like nitroglycerin doesn't explode and but it's constant, yeah, and it's fuel and it provides light, right, and it means a lot.
Speaker 2:I love the name and you know, then and this is I didn't I'm not the creative guy you are, and so, as jen Jenny and I were looking and we thought colors and this was honestly about in July is thinking, well, what is it?
Speaker 1:I didn't know any of this, until last night, by the way, I know Like last night.
Speaker 2:I know, and the first time I I'm like, okay, thel, so you know, thel's the attorney. I'm like, well, I need to like. So there's such a team, you know, I just knew that I had to tell him the name because there's something with the secretary of state. You got to like reserve the name or something, and so he's like, you know, okay, well, I'm going to file. And I thought, well, that's one way, because I know Tommy likes the name. Somebody's going to say, oh, hey, and there's this legal filing and it's got Phil Casper, and you're going to know, so that doesn't happen. So, but, but I liked the name and even then I used the orange. This was in July. I've got a sign. It's got a black background, it's got the orange and the closer we got, you know, start thinking. And then after the 31st, you know, when I hit send on the logo, it's got the orange and the black. And I didn't know you would hate it. I thought there's me elements that you like. You know you're like, hey, oh, oh, I don't know about this.
Speaker 1:We gotta so to be clear, to be clear, I have the benefit of my life of having maddie ray, my son-in-law, who's here today, who is like's not me, he's like the creative genius, but I know what he would have said hey, thanks, matt.
Speaker 2:Muchas gracias.
Speaker 1:I sent it right to him and I'm like, hey, fix this, but the color, let's go to the color, because for you you had to put orange in there and it meant to you and it was so funny. It wasn't until last night. Oh really Last night, oh really Last night, you pulled me out. And it's the same thing. When we did our rebrand, I told Matthew I said I want Hunter Orange there. And he's like yeah, and I'm like yeah, I want it to be Hunter Orange, because I think it's pretty cool, dude. Well, it's pretty cool that, without any communication, that was the bond, right, that was the thing is. The thing is, hey, going forward, that means something to us and it's fun and like we started with kind of this, the hunting, the experience, right stuff, and anyway, well what this is.
Speaker 2:When it dawned this is when one piece of it connected was last night when we were here and I look over and I look up close at the period and I, you know, I did not I'm like that's exactly, that's the same color, like kind of exactly the same color. Yeah, and so the connection, as far as you know what kerosene means, what the orange, there's just a lot of uh, similarities. And know, the reason I keep banging away at June is I didn't cheat Like to me, I just want the best idea. So you know, it wasn't the oh boy, that's a great orange, I'll use that one. It was more thoughtful than that. And then to see that, that similarity, that synergy, because there's so many things about us that are synergistic.
Speaker 1:Talk about, talk about your new company and your vision and and where you see it going and how you're going to take advantage of a life of of relationships in your new venture. You bet.
Speaker 2:So I think, the first founding principle, if you will, I want to do things that I love with people that I love, and now I've got the luxury I don't have to like people that I don't really love, you know, cause there's relationships are at different levels, and so I'm going to do what I love and I'm going to do it in the timeframe that I want, and so, um, you know that, that, in all honesty, that 20, 30 hours a week is what I'm looking at, and you know, compared to 60, 70 before, and just be really thoughtful and focused and then do it with people that I love, whether that's, uh, my partners.
Speaker 2:I want to be able to call and have that relationship and think about things and be able to glean from their experience. We can learn something from everyone, whether they're in a completely different industry that's probably who you learn the most from and just involve some independent people to help with some of the decision-making people that are my senior and that I've respected forever and one of them led a very large organization as a lender, and Rob and I. There were times that he told me no and I didn't like Rob. Well, now I want him to tell me no, because I, like Rob and you know, involve some great people, do great projects. Of course, yes, real estate focused and be able to do it with people that you know, I really care, love and trust.
Speaker 2:You know I have the luxury of being able to decide which of those people do I want to move forward with, and you know it's. I can't tell you how exciting it is and energetic to be able to do that. And you know, because they exist all over, you know, all over the country, and really I, from my perspective, be able to go do business with some of the best of the best is, I think, not only a, yes, strategic advantage but also, you know, from a friendship, emotional, liking, who you're dealing with, that's that I couldn't ask for anything better, you know, because I still I mean, I sit on the board of Blue Cross. I love that it's. I'm not a doctor, but I've fixed a few things, yeah, but you know, be able to I just anyways be involved in Blue Cross. I can't say enough good about that great company, they do great things. I love being a part of it.
Speaker 2:Uh, work a little bit with the, with the state, on the, on the idaho parks, and board, uh, being able to see, believe it or not. So when the governor first asked me, I'm thinking uh, you know, like I gotta tell you, gov, the campgrounds we got a problem with campgrounds, of course you know. But then realizing who's there, and I remember telling the governor like, hey, we got to run this deal like a business. And in fact during my little you know, confirmation hearing, I got maybe a little passionate and just said, look, you know, this is a business, the state has a business and Susan, the director of Buxton, does a phenomenal job of trying to. Hey, we're going to run this, we're going to have metrics, we're going to have what's returned on assets and are we really doing the best job for the state as a steward? And they're forward thinking, they're looking at joint ventures between different departments at the state, and you know, so that's, that's exciting.
Speaker 2:I want to have time to give back to the state, to others and because, let's face it, I love to live here, you love to live here. I do not want to live in South Dakota, I want to be a visitor for, you know, a week or two, a month or a year. But but Kerosene Capital is, it's one of the things with. You know, I never owned a share of stock of bv, but emotionally I owned it and you know again, just great, great company, uh, great employees. But now I've got a chance to to own, yeah, you know, own a piece of it and own what it means and the brand and how it's perceived in the community. And and then you know what what I own is me and and I got to say, you know, and Jenny, jenny's had so much to do. Believe me, you think that the latest logo was not the best.
Speaker 1:I've got a million of them that she's already thrown up on you know, matthew, matthew, you don't want version one, don't get version one, no, but hey, well, hey, this has been, this has been the best. Yeah, yeah, I can't. It's uh, the amount of energy. One of the things that I wanted to maybe kind of end in on here is, uh, the energy you bring to life is infectious, whether that's in a two-wheel drive truck, going through a freaking snow drift that we had no business even trying to go through, we made it, and then, like, literally an hour before dawn till an hour after dusk, and then we finally get back to the hotel to eat our cheese curds, oh yeah, but, like, whether you're hunting or in business, it is, it is the most energizing thing ever.
Speaker 1:It is, it never stops, it's thoughtful, it's metric based, it's. It's like I just, uh, I love the partner, I love the partnership, I love you, I love you as my friend and as my business partner. It's been a wonder, wonder. It's been a wonderful ride together. And now, uh, v2 is, is you know, like I again, I just is going to be uh, with gratitude on the past and with absolute fire and excitement for the future.
Speaker 2:And here we go I'm ready to go and you know, just bring that energy and you've got energy. And one thing that I've noticed about you over the years is you always, if somebody's got a problem, uh, whatever it is, you kind of you drop everything and I gotta this guy. This guy needs my help, not not relation, not business related. This guy needs my help and you're always help and you're always willing to help them. And that's, frankly, been a I needed to slow down and you know, because I love to help people but I've never seen anybody with that and there's a lot of takeaways from people that I've met, but that is something that just always stood out.
Speaker 2:And at a time in my need you know which we don't have time to go through when you would tell me well, there's a story here, we got to have this test. I'm like I don't want that test and well, I'll tell you later and I'm glad you didn't tell me on the front end, but sorry for another day. But I want to make sure that. Shout out also to all of the people you know who, to all of the people you know who you are. I just appreciate you to death. I owe so many people, so much gratitude, thank you. Nobody does it in life on their own and it's really the relationships, the people behind you and I've just blessed, and first with Jenny and then with you. Know there's too many to name, but thank you. Well, it's been great yeah.
Speaker 2:Thank you for your relationship, friendship and example. Okay, buddy, all right, we'll do it again. Yes, sir, thanks everybody, let's do it.